By Kandy Salby

If hope is “the thing with feathers”

Then Pain is the thing with claws!

Pain holds on tightly-Dragon Grip piercing deeply into flesh and bone.

Power-loud and Unignorable- stabbing and flaring, flashing and blaring —roaring into my body like It owns the place. It does NOT.

Yet, Pain gets my attention-quickly and completely.

There is nothing else. Just Me and Pain.

And Pain won’t let go! Until there are hot tears maybe… hours of silent negotiations, prayers, begging…

Pain fiercely signals to me to DO something- ANYTHING- to make it stop.

Anything? Sell my soul to the Devil Dragon?

No.

You’re not real. You’re not the Truth, Pain.

And so I stay focused on visualizing the Truth—the light—perfect health. Breathing. Counting. Meditating.

Pain gets bored, falls asleep, unknowingly releases a talon, slowly drifts away on broken, matted feathers…for a few minutes…leaving a slow trail with drops of blood and drool.

I sigh a deep lungs-full breath of relief…

Only to be fire stabbed again quickly by sharp spikes of pain driving into my ribcage or into both hips at once or into my tail bone. I am wide awake. Alert. It hurts!

Listening for the lesson. The purpose. How much more? Why? How much longer?

Eventually, Absence of Pain saunters into my body yawning and carrying a cup of coffee. Relief! Deep breaths. In and out. Gratitude!

But… for how long?

How long?

It doesn’t matter.

It is still November and

I

AM

STILL

ALIVE.